none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we should paint friendship bongs
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