you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you made out with another girl for some wings
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
