Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
