I wish I only lived at night.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
