Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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