brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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