Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
