Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
