how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize