They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
