No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The uberlube is also flammable
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
