Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
