Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
