Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
