Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
