We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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