Pappa wants mamma naked
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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