Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
