Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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