Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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