physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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