sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
