Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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