my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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