I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
