Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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