You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
