Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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