I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
