i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
