4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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