Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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