when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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