There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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