took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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