you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
