You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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