all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
