Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
