Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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