If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
