Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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