someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize