I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
