i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize