I wish i was in the wii world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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