he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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