1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
