just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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