What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
