Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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