uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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