Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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