Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
