apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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