How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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