so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
