I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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