why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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