.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
